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I also had braces AND freckles AND bad posture from carrying my backpack on one shoulder (because for some reason, carrying it on both shoulders as it was DESIGNED made you socially-repellant).

If you’re imagining Quasimodo with rabbit teeth and blotchy skin — STOP IT!

Nate had transferred from a beach somewhere in southern California, so I now had an older boy with sun-bleached, shoulder-length hair and dark, tanned skin, sitting next to me. ”Nate draped a languid arm over the back of his chair, “Don’t have it.”“And why not? Neam’s voice went up a full octave.“Don’t need it.”“Exxx-cuse me, young man? “If you hope to survive my class, you will most And that’s when Nate — in an act of rebellion so unheard of, so brazen that it became the unofficial Fairview Junior High motto — said,“WHATEVER.”At that moment, my brain turned to marshmallow and I whispered low and soft, “Nate, will you marry me?

”Well, this whole “I-heart-Nate” crap went on for most of the year.

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), but I will say that Nate didn’t give me much to work with in order to defend his intellect. In the relatively limited sea of fish that is junior high, the much older Nate was automatically *In my defense, I chose Richard over Johnny (Depp) for strategic reasons.

I figured when I inevitably ran into Richard (at the mall?

), unlike Johnny, who would be hounded by screaming fans, I’d have Richie all to myself.

Though now, if I ran into either, I’d just…keep walking. Biceps were unheard of in 8th grade, they simply did not exist …or at least not on anyone besides the gym teacher (that woman was fucking terrifying). Neam, our history teacher, snapped at Nate, “Where’s your textbook?!?

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